Family lore, resillience, and what matters
In 2025 I met another Grady, and had a welcome reason to revisit how I came by my name.
When my mother was pregnant with me, my parents tentatively planned to name me William. It would have been a family name, and as the first boy born into my extended family, it was a strong contender. As my mother grew larger, they thought about other names, but “William” remained most likely.
But every evening during pregnancy, as they had for a decade before, and at least a decade after, my parents watched the “News Hour” - the nonpartisan nightly news roundup on PBS. A few weeks before I was born, on July 15th 1994, the News Hour had a segment covering a dam failure in South Georgia, which included a quick interview of a retired couple whose home had been destroyed in the flood - Evelyn and Grady West:
EVELYN WEST: The water come up so fast it, well, it was floated from the top of my washing machine and busted the top off – all my food – my food scattered.
MS. BOWSER (Reporter): Evelyn West lost nearly everything. She and her husband, Grady, built this little brick house by the lake five years ago when he retired. It was supposed to be for their golden years. But now at the ages of 68 and 70, they are faced with starting over. They’re determined to make the best of it.
GRADY WEST: I look at it this way, you know, there’s no use of grievin’ over it, it’s a material thing, and it can be replaced, and I’ve always been a hard worker, and I think that we can – between the two of us – we can overcome this, and really that you haven’t got much choice.
MS. BOWSER (Reporter): For 32 years, Grady West worked for the Crisp County Power Commission that built this nearby dam. It broke at 5:30 last Saturday morning, causing most of the flooding in the Lake Blackshear area. There had been one inch of rain an hour for more than a day. It was too much water, too quickly for the 65 year old earth dam and power station.
From that short clip, my parents decided to add Grady to their list of names. My mom always said it was his smile and resilience that stuck with her. After I was born, they both thought (and the labor nurse confirmed) I looked more like a Grady than a William - and the rest is paperwork.
I have to admit that though I’ve heard the story a dozen times in my life, I always assumed it was apocryphal - lore passed down by telephone, rather than an accurate recounting of events. I first heard it when I was quite young, likely in the late nineties, and we wouldn’t get internet until well into the next decade. But in the year 2025, given a happy reason to find the source material, and an excellent public archive, I was able to find it in a few minutes.
Right before I watched it, I realized that it didn’t matter to me whether it was true. The solace and pride I took in the name wasn’t based on its veracity, but what it stood for: capability, partnership, and disposition. That it happens to be true is just a bonus. My mother’s memory is (at least at times) as accurate and expansive as she claims.
I was named for a smile in face of hardship, for a worker sure of his skills, for a man who knew that what really matters isn’t the material stuff, but the people. Seeing the clip today I’m also struck by the smile Grady and Evelyn seem to share as they stand with each other, the easy confidence they have that they will rebuild, and do so together.
I know life is too full of contingency to attribute too much of anything to something as simple as a name, but I can think of times in my life where the name, and the lore, reminded me that I can do hard things, and that people are what’s important.
Reflecting back a few weeks later, I’m also struck by how we can make meaningful impressions on each other even when our connections are fleeting and tenuous. I doubt Grady West will ever know that his ten second spot on the news ended up shaping the life of some unrelated Grady Ward a dozen states away. But disposition and attitude is like that - it has a surprising way of echoing far beyond ourselves.
With that in mind: find people that you love, develop your skills, and build something with both.
After all, we haven’t got much choice.